Thursday, April 13, 2006

Lazy Insurance

Liberty Mutual is running these short commercials on PBS. I don't know if they are on network TV, too, but I suspect they are. In them, you see some "accident waiting to happen", like a banana peel on a sidewalk, or a rollerskate on a stair. The lower half of a khaki-dressed man walks into view and puts down an orange construction cone or puts up yellow "caution" tape around the obstacle and walks away. This is supposedly because they are into preventing accidents, no matter how small, they are looking out for us, and I guess that a board room of rich people removed from every day life saw the presention from the ad company and thought "oh my goodness how cute and clever" and paid loads of money to produce them.

What the fuck?

Just pick the shit up.

Wednesday, April 5, 2006

Red Dress, Nonetheless

Don't TELL me I can't have a red dress in Spring.
Granted, I went to Local Motion, Lula, JCPenny (don't laugh, you'd be surprised), Herbergers (again, don't laugh), Bloomingdale's, Macy's, Nordstrom, Marshall's, TJMaxx, Charlotte Reusse, and Marshall Field's, though it seems like I went to more places than that, and no luck. But I certainly thought that, what with prom coming up and all, there would be more slutty teens who wanted to wear red (or IM with Department of Homeland Security Officials) (Great. I should not have typed that. I will probably have an unwarranted wiretap now). But apparently, color is all about the melon now. Cantaloupe, Water, Honeydew, and... is there a Yelllow Melon? There is no way to make these colors look not cheap, I don't care how expensive or well-made the dress is. And for god's sake, I don't even eat melon, why would I want to wear a sparkly one? This is more shopping than I have done in months, and I did it all in the space of a few hours. I finally went online where all the red dresses have been hiding, apparently. I found one. It's in the mail. It's probably too big and definitely too expensive, but I woke up in the morning thinking about it, and Pete told me to just buy it already, so I did. We'll see how it works out. I hope it loves me because I love it, even though it's spendy.

Oh what the heck. I mean, you only get married for the second time once, right?